ADD / ADHD Coaching Blog

Social Skills Support

The ADD Book Club begins discussing "What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?" on Monday April 7th. The ADD Book Club is more than just a regular book club. The ADD Book Club offers its members structure, support, education, coaching, and convenience.

Sign up now for the ADD Book Club at:

http://www.adhdbookclub.com

This is a great opportunity for adults with ADHD to get support with social skills and improve improve their social success!

Free TeleSeminar for Mixed ADHD Couples

On Wednesday January 30th ADHD Coaches Carrie Greene and Aaron Feliciano are offering the Free Teleseminar "Help for Mixed ADHD Couples" through ADDClasses.com This teleseminar will introduce mixed ADHD couples (one partner with, and one without, ADHD) to ideas and strategies that will support them in having a happy and successful relationship. Registered participants can call in using a telephone or listen live over the internet.

Sign up now>>>

Avoiding ADHD Social Blunders as a Non-ADD Spouse

Several years ago, the holidays used to create a certain amount of dread for my husband, the poster-child for ADD, and myself, his non-ADD spouse. He used to have a difficult time with social situations.

He'd ruffle a lot of feather by being blunt and saying what was on his mind and had problems regulating his emotions; he would start speaking loud during a "passionate" discussion. Many of my clients actually work with me because of issues in social situations.

I often get calls from the spouses (or life partner) of my ADHD clients who ask me what they can do. I can tell you what worked for me and what seems to work for most successful ADHD couples. Here's what you can do as a non-ADHD spouse to reduce the tension around social situations:

1) recognize that impulsivity and inattentive, as well as poor regulations of emotions often found in ADD, are often part of the problem. I believe that people do the best they can with what they have in their present circumstances. The likelihood is that your spouse wants to improve his or her social skills and doesn't want to embarrass you but may not be able to do it alone because of lack of self-awareness;

2) have a conversation with your spouse before a social event about what are appropriate and inappropriate behavior, giving specific examples of appropriate responses or behaviors;

3) develop a discrete code that helps your spouse become aware when he or she is crossing the line. Most adults with ADHD don't even realise that they're committing a social blunder. My husband asked me to squeeze his arm slightly or to make a specific eye signal when he was saying something that shouldn't be said or if he was being "passionate" and speaking too loud. He would later ask me to help him identify what behavior needed to improve.

4) learn to be less sensitive about what is appropriate and inappropriate - I had a client whose wife used to get embarrassed when her husband joked around with the waitress about paying his bill. So what! I've learned to be less concerned about what others think. I'm not as concerned about impressing the Jones or whoever happens to be there. And when people mentioned something about my husband raising his voice during a conversation, or saying something that was just too honest, I'd tell them "he's very passionate when he talks, isn't he" or "that's my Duane, tells it like he sees it"!

Most importantly, my relationship with my husband is so much more important to me than impressing someone I see once or twice a year or that I'll never see again. So I learned to laugh a lot more and judge a lot less. And after over 23 years of marriage we are still madly in love, so chances are we may be onto something.

What have you done that worked for you?

Visit my blog at http://www.coachlindawalker.com/blog

Prevent the Post-Holiday ADHD Money Blues!

As an ADHD Coach, wife and mother of ADHDers, I know how difficult the holidays can be, especially on the pocketbook. ADHDers react impulsively to the excitement of commercial advertising. As a result you often spend too much and get into debt more easily.  Then spend the next few months having to reduce your grocery bill to pay for your splurge over the holidays. Been there, done that, after all I have been married to an ADHDer for 23 years and so many of my clients come to me to get help with your financial health.

Most experts will tell you to make a household budget and stick to it. The problem is that household budgets are boring and so they don't ignite your ADHD brain. Instead, use your creative brain to find amazing ideas that add value instead of sleepless nights. We have become such a society of consumers that we forget that what makes the holidays memorable is not the big gift we received but the quality of the time you spend with your loved ones.

Some of our best Christmas memories as a family was the time I spent with my daughters when they were young creating decorations for the tree or baking fun cookies. And each year we're reminded of those times with the decorations we created so many years ago that still don our tree each year. We make it a point to decorate as a family.

That was my story. Now it's your turn: I challenge you to come up with and share ideas of how you can make the holidays more meaningful for you and your loved ones.

From Coach Linda Walker

Honey Are You Listening?

The ADD Book Club is beginning another book in October. Coach Cindy Giardina will be leading the discussion of the book Honey Are You Listening?. The live calls will take place on Tuesday October 9, 16, 23, and 30 at 9:00 pm eastern. Members of the ADD Book Club really get a lot from the lives calls but it's okay if you can't make the call. Each ADD Book Club discussion is recorded and members can download them at their own convenience.

Join the ADD Book Club Now!!